...:::: Adult Sms ::::...
year boy cought in a rape case lady lawyer holds his pins and said you houner see how can he rape ....??? boy said : hila mat warna case har jai gi .... |
a lady in party want to go to tolit she asked sardar : sardar ji susu karnay wali jagha dikhoo he replied : naughty girl pahlay tum dikhoo.... |
JO MILA OORAT KO MILA BABAY MILA DABANA KO CHOOT MILI MARANA KO HONT MILA CHUMWANA KO TERE KO KIA MILA LUND JO SIRF HILANA KO |
MUTH marne ke 11 Faayde 1:- Self Reliance 2:- Time Convience 3:- Prevention of Crime 4:- Mental Choice of Lady 5:- No Risks of AIDS 6:- No Special place Requirement 7:- No Wastage of Cash 8:- Easy to Perform 9:- No fear of early ejaculation 10:- Guranteed Satisfaction 11:- No Risk of Being Caught So moral is Badnammi de Phuddi naalon izzat de Muth Changi hai |
chikne ladkon ka tujh per noor barse , harpathan teri dosti ko tarse , khuda kare teri zindagi main itnain pathan ahee k tu ek minute bhi sharwar pehnne ko tarsey. |
Bond 007 :- Mona, ur not wearing panty today? Mona:- Yes sir, ur great.. hw did u know that? 007:- i can see dandruff on ur shoes... |
Tell me,is it going in?YEAH. is it hurting?oh yeah ouch its huring.OH i will put it slowly.Still hurting?Aah Yeah.then lets try the other SHOE SIR! |
IF YOUR RIGHT LEG WAS XMAS AND YOUR LEFT WAS NEW YEAR I WOULD LOVE TO VISIT U DURING THE HOLIDAYS |
A girl looks at a mans tatoo: NIKE on his arms, REEBOK on his legs, she screamed when she saw AIDS on his ====. "Relax" he said, if it erects, it reads ADIDAS |
The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come without yelling |
sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like samsung (everybody is invited) |
* every 1has different phases of sex life. age 18-din raat age 28-roz raat age 38-jumairat age 48-chandraat age 58-ghalatbaat |
Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand |
When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!! |
What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed! |
BREAKING NEWS..~Bazar-e-Hussun MeinAag lag gayee, Raat gaye Fire Brigade Ka ammlay ne Aag per qabooo pa liya,Magar ammlay per qabooo abhi tak nahi paya ja saka.........!!!!! |
Doctor: Kya taklif hai? Petient: Sote waqt SAAS ko lene me taqlif hoti hai. Doc: Aaj se dus din sote vaqt SAAS ko nahi SAALI ko lo !! |
Jinke paas hai... woh haath me leke hilate hai, jinke paas nahi hai... woh ungli dalke kam chalate hai BOLO KYA? Dirty Mind …… It is ….. TOOTH BRUSH. |
teacher bachon kia bata saktay ho k billi k itnay saray bachay kyn hotay hain ek student khara hota hai or kehta hai miss aap bhi bahir nangi ghumaien to aap k bhi itnay saray bachay hongay |
Aik bachi roz sonay say pehlay apni barri behan k kamray k bahir say jhankti hai... aik baar woh samnay say guzarti hai to uski behan nangi apni phuddi per haath rakh k keh rahi hoti hai "Aah mujhay mard chahiye... mujhay mard chahiye." Bachi ignore kar deti hai... Issi tarah dosray din hota hai... or phir teesray din... or phir chotthay din bachi dekhti hai k uski behan k kamray mian waqai aik mard haiBachi bohat khush hoti hai... woh samajhti hai k shayad yeh mangnay ka tareeqa hai... woh bhaag k apni behan k kamray man jaati hai or kapray utar k apni phuddi pay haath mal k kehti hai "Aah mujhay cycle chahiye, mujhay cycle chahiye..." |
Pehle usne utari saari. Fir aayi peticoat ki baari. Phir diya blouse utar Zyada khoosh mat ho yaar Wo thi kapde sukhane ki taar |
ladki ki vidai k waqt ladki ka baap dulhe se bolta hai "ab hamari izzat tumhare haath mein hai" dulha bolta hai "don't worry jate hi loot lunga " |
BUSH baraa chalak hai....... 9 bachoon ka bap hai.. BUSH. bara nirala hai .10wa bhi aanay wala hai........waise aapus ki baat hai.........is sab main USAMA ka haath hai |
It is scientifically prove that k pachpan mein gand maranay walay loog seedhay hath mein mobile pakartay hein don't change ur now its too late |
A boy 2 girl:ye tumhari taango ke beech mai kya hai girl:kuch nahi bus aik lakeer hai thn A girl 2 boy:ye tumhari taango ke beech mai kya latak raha hai Then boy replied:ye usi lakeer ke fakeer hai |
larka sarak par khari larki se kehta hai o o jane jana dhundhe tujhe deewana larki reply karti hai mere ghar pay roz aa k mere bhai se gand marwana |
Aurat ko chut ki gehrai pe naaz hay to humain bhi apne land ki lambai pe naaz hay.Ager uski chut shabnam ka shabab hay to hamara land bhi LUCKNOW KA NAWAB hay |
Mother asks daughter,how is ur sex life? daughter replies like British Airways.Mother reads the ad and is shocked."7 days a week,twice a day,Both ways" |
Wife says to husband,Did u know that a bull can manage sex everyday thats 365 times a year? husband replies: Yes, but he doesnt have to fuck the same cow everytime! |
Light weight Question= es Duniya mein sab say halki cheez kia hai ? Answer= is LUN coz woh sirf khayal say bhe uth jata hai :> |
1) Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai. 2) Dono hi naye achche lagte hai. 3) Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai. |
Q.what is difference between watch & wife: A: Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai |
krishna kare to ramleela hum karain to karekter dheela krishna kare to swami hum karain to harami krishna kare to chamatkar hum karain to balatkar . |
jab jab hamain pyass lagti hay un k anay ki ass lagti hay un ki dewangee main ho gaye itnay dewanay k har larki ki man saas lagti hay |
larka:- larkian to pepsi ki tarhan hoti hain dil karta hay peetay jao peetay jao...' larki:- larkay to sheezan ki tarhan hotay hain jab maza anay laga to khatam. |
Man marries a deaf gal.he mimes,lets make a code! if i want sex i'll squeeze ur breast,in responce u can pull my penis once for YES and 50 times for NO |
Aurat ko chut ki gehrai pe naaz hay to humain bhi apne land ki lambai pe naaz hay.Ager uski chut shabnam ka shabab hay to hamara land bhi LUCKNOW KA NAWAB hay |
Mother asks daughter,how is ur sex life? daughter replies like British Airways.Mother reads the ad and is shocked."7 days a week,twice a day,Both ways" |
A bio teacher was telling her students that for the best penetrations 6-7" PENIS IS best.ONE OF THE GIRL ASKD HER tht wht abt 9" .teacher said i m telling abt NECESSITY not LUXURY |
Wife n Mobile 1) Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai. 2) Dono hi naye achche lagte hai. 3) Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai. |
Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet! |
A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.;) |
Girls have very Stupid Speaicality.. they wet without bath. they bleed without Injury. they give milk without eating grass. Make boneless thing Hard!!!.. |
a man carrying 3 babies'travellin in a train........A Women sittin near him inquired.......R these sweeties belongs 2 u? MAN:no mam i work in a condom factory n these r customerz complainz |
Gabar se ronay ki wajah poochi.....usne kaha MAA ne danta hai.... MAA se poocha tau kehti hai.... MUJH SE POOCTA HAI KITNAY AADMI THAY |
A small child wrote 2 SANTA CLAUS; Send me a brother. SANTA wrote back; Send me ur mother... |
Teacher gave a sentence to Santa for translation: Khushi ke maare uski chhati phool gayi. Santa: Due to happiness his chest turned into breasts |
tatoon ne lund se kaha ab hum bhi union banain gay tatoon ne lund se kaha ab hum bhi union banain gay bohut hogai maa chudai ab hum bhi gand main ghus jain gay |
A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction doc tells her 2 lie down and gets ready with tools lady lifts her skirt,doc says im not a gynacologist im dentist she says i want to get my hubbys tooth removed |
different types of voices during sex english: oh yes oh yessssss americian: yah baby yah baby indian: oyeeeeeeeee maaaaaaaa pakistani: haji sahib bussssssss |
5 things to remember always: 1. Lun aur pani apna rasta khud bana laitey hein 2.jazbat aur mumey jitnay dabaoo barthay hein 3.doodh phatnay ki aur gand phatnay ki awaz nahi hoti 4.gari aur biwi kisi ko mat doo chod kar wapis mileygi 5.sanp aur phudi jahan milay mar dooo |
Azadi uss ehsas ka nam hai jo har raat ko sonay say phelay underware utarnay k bad app k tatoon ko milti hai |
Ail baap anay betay ki shaadi karta hai !!! suhaagraat ko baap betay kay kamray kay keyhole say jhaankta hai to beta ful daba dab laga hota hai !!! baap ko bhi khuwaari charhti hai jaata hai aur apni begham pay shuru hojaata hai !! beta faarigh hota hai aur jaakay baap kay kamray main jhaankta hai to baa laga hota hai beta kehta hai laanat hai baap burha hogaya aur abhi tak laga hua hai !!! jaata hai aur phir shuru ho jaata hai!!!! baap aata hai dekhta hai aur jaakay ghussay main phir shuru hojaata hai!!!! teesri baar jab baap aata hai to aawaaz lagata hai betaaaa beta :- jeeeee abbbbba baap :- beta kyun mazaak mazaak main apni maan chudwa raha hai |
You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you |
Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on! |
want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins! |
Sub se pehley kiss kro, phir bister per lata do, phir dono tange uper utha ke, neechey haath laga ke dekho, Mune ne ager su su kia hai, to nappy badal do. |
Good friend is like a brazier, which is comfortable, supportive, holds u tight always close to u and prevents u from falling. |
3 Facts of Life: Ghareeb aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai. Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai. Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai. |
Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops |
Man: Kiss Karun? Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi. Man: Boob dabaun.? Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.? Man: Fuck? Gal: Period me hun.? Man: Don't say loose motions hai |
Hum Bichhde Hue Ko Milate Hai, In Short Hum Bra Banate Hain |
It is said that inzamam don't understand english. Once commentator asked, "Hay inzi your wife had a baby last week, is this true?". Inzi said, "Bismillah Hir Rahman Raheem first of all i thanks to Allah and then credit goes to all boys, they really worked hard especially afridi done very well. If they continue we can have another chance |
Train ki patri pay mat betho. Train aaye gi aur gand phat jaye gi. Abhi to haath say gaand dhotay ho phir haath say gand dho betho gay. |
* every 1has different phases of sex life. age 18-din raat age 28-roz raat age 38-jumairat age 48-chandraat age 58-ghalatbaat |
What comes after 69 . . . . 'MOUTHWASH" HAHAH |
Nurse lost her cat. nurse in the hospital- any 1 got a pussy,all women stood up,i mean any one seen a pussy, all men stood up.I meant any one seen my pussy, all doctors stood up. |
son saw a parents having sex"dad whats up? DAD:tere maa may petrol bhar raha hoon. son :mom ki average check karien,raat ko uncle bhi tank full ker kay gain hain" |
Na hum aids say dartay hain, na hi condum say keraty hain, hum to duniya say dartay hain, is lia haath say keraty hain, HAPPY MUTH DAY |
a boy asks his girlfriend 2 ply with his cork. its ger 1st time. after sometimes she asked"what are these drops coming out?" boy:"ye khushi k ansoon hain". |
three friends discussing about AIDS 1: i m so afraid of aids that i always use condom 2: i m that afraid of sex that i even wore condom in my fingers 3: i m that afraid of aids that i dun take chance just call my neighbour and ask him to do the honors |
dushmano ne teer chalaya do dilon ke beech main...ghum ghuma ke ghus gaya chutaron ke beech main |
On their first night: Husband: Is it really your first night? Wife: No... No...Actually it is first time at night. |
What's the similarity between drinking a coke & sucking a tall woman's tits? Piyo sar utha ke |
Santa ki saali: Jijaji 500 Rs de do agley haftey dungi. Santa: Tu 1500 lele, magar abhi de. |
Birds love you, monkeys love you, hippos love you, snakes love you, tortoise love you, giraffe loves you..... Please go back to ZOO, they all really miss you! |
5 advantages of breast milk. 1 no need to boil 2 cat can't steal 3 available in attractive containers 4 popular in all age group 5 take one get one free. |
two sardarji's were walking on road and a well shaped girl was walking infront of them sardar1: wah! kia maal hai sardar2: haan yaar maal se yaad aya bhabhi ka kia haal hai |
din main sota hai raat ko jagta hai din main leta rehta hai raat ko khara rehta hai ,its choukidar |
teri maa di teri chhoti bahan di teri bari bahan di teri khala di teray bhai di teray papa di aur meri vi tu jaan hai |
Talash-e-ghumshuda , AIk LuN , Rang : Gora , Rubber ka chogha pehnay , TatU ka zehni Tavazun Durust nahi . Jis Ko milay Gand Main Lay Laye. |
SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U'll enjoy it! I'll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u. |
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute. |
Jake n Jill went up da hill to fetch a pail ov water God know wat they did there And came bak wid a Daughter. |
aik bacha apni hamsayee say.. Anti aap k baloons meri ammi say chotey hain.. Anti tum nain apni ammi k baloon kahan say dekhay.. bacha..Kal rat abbu un main hawa bhar rahey they.... |
If you want Suck the nipple of girl ,she always say why yours mother and sister r not living in ur home .u say yes but there is not child |
Bannd Kar Light choot se Kar fight dal de ander slight Jub Nikalay ga white U feel Alright. |
Life Without fun , Sky Without Sun , Ten without One , warrior Without Gun , Batsman without run, Is all Like a Man without LuN . |
In a Tv Show film Star REEMA was asked about her favourite Player She replied " YOUHANA" , The hOsT Said I asked about The Player not your hobby. |
ek baar heroine ki shaadi producer se hoti hai. pehli raat ko producer heroine ho kehta hai ki pehle rehersal kar lete hain. heroine bolti hai rehersal maine director k saath kar li hai aap final take lo. |
ek baar ek sardaar apni balcony mein khada hota hai apni shirt utar kar. dusra sardaar bola "u hv a nice chest" pehla sardar bola "eh teh kuch v nahi apni bharjai ki dekh" |
ladki ki vidai k waqt ladki ka baap dulhe se bolta hai "ab hamari izzat tumhare haath mein hai" dulha bolta hai "don't worry jate hi loot lunga " |
Kashti toofan se nikal sakti hai, Taqdeer kisi bhi waqt bhi badal sakti hai, Hausla rakh, channel na badal, SANIA MIRZA kisi bhi waqt Jhuk sakti hai |
For toothpaste ad they show teeth. For hair oil they show hair. For face cream they show face. But for Whisper they r not showing anything, that's cheating. Jaago Grahak Jaago |
common dialogue after exams & wedding night: kaisa hua? acha hua, per thora lamba tha, thora choot gya, zara jaldi ho gya, aata tha per theek say nahi hua |
pehle galon per kiss kia phir kapre utare aaram say litaya mohabat say tangon ko uthaya phir phir pamper utar ker check kiya to baby nay shu shu kiya hua tha |
personality of a female follows the size of her BRA 32 = innocent 34 = calm 36 = agressive 38 = playful 40 = sexy & 42 = ANJUMAN |
poocha gaya kay minaar-e-pakistan ko kaisay khara kia to bataya gaya kay os ko pehlay nichay nichay bana lia phir os ka rukh hira mandi ki tarf kar dia khudi khara ho gaya ..... yaroo kahan chalay gaey ho koe sms bhaijoo dont loose spirit |
Girl: sorry sir u can't smoke here Customer: but i bought the cigarettes from your shop? Girl: we also sell condom. you can't start fucking here |
ek baar ek teacher ek ladke se poochte hai batao iss duniya me sabse halki cheez kya hai..??? ladka: ji LULLI teacher: wo kaise...??? ladka: ji jo cheez sirf soochne pe khade ho jaye..usse halka aur kya hoga |
do u remembre a song from film machis... "CHUNNI LEKE SOOTI THI KAMAAL LAGTII THI.." sallo sirf chunni lege to kamal to lagegee naa |
a girl called me one day and said there is no one at the home,come over quikly i went her home and found that there is no one at the home.. |
teri ma ki choot main mere gadhe ka lund randi ki nasal bhosri ke bherwe dalle kuttan yeh kal gadhe wala kheraha tha car wale ko |
Wife : Pehlay tum daily karte they phir weekly aur ab monthly karte ho .. Kyun ? Husband : Pehle teri aisee thee {} .. Phir aisee thee { } .. Ab aisee hai { } .. Ab kia karoon aise {} ki talash mein dar dar ki thokrein khaa raha hoon |
Teacher : Hame in machron ko paida hone se rokna chahiye. Student : Wo to ho hi nahin sakta. Teacher : Kyon? Student : Kyon ki itna chota condom ban hi nahi sakta |
AMERCAN ki progress our hamari non progress ka RAAZ: amercan lund ko choot main our kam ko dimagh main rakhte hain . or hum choot ko dimagh main or kam ko lund pe rakhte hainb |
mehboob mere,mehboob mere.. apni masti me mujhe jeene de.. joo dood hai tere seene me.. mujhe daba-daba ke peene de |
HOW DOES A CRICKET COMMENTATOR DESCRIBES A NAKE WOMAN? NO COVER NO EXTRA COVER NO SLIP 2 SILLY POINTS 2 FINE LEGS AND A DEEP GULLY LITTLE GRASS ON THE PITCH |
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots ! PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home |
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? FATHER : No. Why do you ask that? PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? |
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America. PAPPU : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS : PAPPU! |
WHEN I WAS BORN.... SHATAIN SAID..... OH!!! ANOTHER ANGLE... WHN U WAS BORN.... SHATAIN SAID.. OH!!! SALAHHHHHHHH COMPITION WHEN I WAS BORN.... SHATAIN SAID..... OH!!! ANOTHER ANGLE... WHN U WAS BORN.... SHATAIN SAID.. OH!!! SALAHHHHHHHH COMPITION |
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage. Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out. Santa: I didn't say he got out. |
One Sardar love with a nurse. HE writes love letter. He writes,"I Love you Sister". |
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin |
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR |
Two sardarjis walked towards each other on a country road. One carried a burlap bag over his shoulder. "Hey Bhai" first sardarji drawled, "what's in the bag?" "Chickens" was the reply.? If I guess how many, can I have one?" You can have both of them." "OK", First sardarji said. " Five |
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies. Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!" |
Bite the neck gently, chew the breast softly, Spreads the legs lostly, And suck the juice excitely, Thats the way to Eat........... Guess what ?:) > > > > > . > Thats the way to eat TANDOORI CHICKEN yaar...:) |
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